Date Movies: Beerfest vs Amanda

by Gordon McDowell

Broken Lizard’s follow up to “Super Troopers” and “Club Dread” is best viewed after a half dozen beers. But due to some swift metal detector action by theatre attendants, the only thing I took to Beerfest was Amanda (my date).

Now I know why they make beer caps out of metal.

Now I know why there were so few women standing in line.

Educated women don’t do humor. Sure, there are female comedians. And occasionally, I’ll tell a joke and a woman will smile, or at least not be offended. But it doesn’t come natural. It’s like asking a man to clean a toilet, or crap out a baby. Sure, with superhuman effort, just about anything is possible. But is it really worth all the extra work? Wouldn’t it be easier to just hand the scrub brush to someone better suited for the task? Wouldn’t it be easier to just knock the woman up?


Taking Amanda to Beerfest was kind of like that. Having to explain every joke sucked the enjoyment out of my movie going experience. My advice to you, dear reader, is when you find that special someone, a beautiful woman who loves Doctor Who, Broken Lizard and World of Warcraft… you email me her phone number right now.

Beerfest starts out with Jan and Todd Wolfhouse (from Colorado) destroying Oktoberfest in such a manner that falling objects tear the clothing off of 4 fine looking German women. Not all at once. First 2 women are exposed (that’s 4 breasts so far), and then another mishap occurs and 2 more women (8 breasts now) are on display. I shout “Awesome!” and Amanda starts giving me this… look.


I start explaining the joke to her. She just sees gratuitous nudity, but its so much more than that. Its gratuitously gratuitous nudity. 2 boobs may have been exploitation. 4 would have been excessively funny. But 8? My god… I could never conceived of it. But as I sat their, leaning forward to cover my erection, going on about this to Amanda… I realized then and there, only 10 minutes into the movie that it was going to be a very long haul.

At least I had the other men in the theatre laughing along side me. Funny how THEY didn’t need the 8-boob-joke explained. I guess you can be school-schooled, or you can be life-schooled. You can have book smarts, or you can have world smarts. You either think 8 boobs are sexist, or you know for a fact that they’re awesome.


However, as much as I admire 8-boob-jokes, frog masturbation jokes, Germans and pee jokes… the movie was not without its flaws. I was hoping for “the ultimate” Broken Lizard movie. A movie I could tell all my friends to run out and see. Because I do love Broken Lizard. Their previous work, “Super Troopers” and “Club Dread” both contained some of my all-time favorite comedy scenes. “Club Dread” contains my favorite comedy line of all time. But all 3 movies loose their momentum towards the end, and none wrap up in a terribly creative fashion.

“Beerfest” is the weakest of the 3. None of the scenes were funnier then a handful from either prior movie. Darn. These guys are funny… but if you’ve never seen a Broken Lizard movie before, and you’ve got a wad of cash burning a hole in your pocket… buy a DVD of “Club Dread”. It’s got Bill Paxton, a bunch of great comedy sequences, and the best comedy line of all time.


And you won’t have to worry about the man confiscating your brewskies.

Super secret beer smuggling tip:

I smuggled a camcorder into Lollapalooza ’94 by careful placement under a six-pack of beer. When security got to the beer, I was all like “I can’t do that? Oh darn! No, don’t pour my beer out! Lovely beer!” And of course they never dug further to find the camcorder.

If you’re keen on taking beer in to enhance the enjoyment of “Beerfest”, I recommend hiding a can of brew under 6 video cameras. Then as the manager is being called in, and they’re tallying all the video equipment, you slip in to the theatre with your beer. Who knows, if I’d brought 6 video cameras and 1 beer with me instead of an Amanda, I might have found the movie to be the best Broken Lizard creation yet.

  • Date Movies: Beerfest vs Amanda
  • by Gordon McDowell
  • Published on September 17th, 2006
Jay Chandrasekhar
Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske, Jay Chandrasekhar, Steve Lemme and others

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