Communication is Key

by Obsidian

Just recently I had gone out to my parent’s for a “family dinner”. While helping mom with prepare the table she began idly mentioning a few things she was unhappy with my father over. Now this is certainly not unheard of, as 30 years of marriage will do that to people. But when I asked if she had mentioned any of these things to him she simply stated, “Oh what good will that do, he never listens to me anyway?” Rather than argue over it I held my tongue and nodded amenably.

Not shortly after that, dad and I were sitting in front of the TV chatting and ‘lo and behold he presents me with an almost carbon copy of the statements previously uttered by mom. I held my silence a little while, but finally I had to ask, “have you talked to her about it?” Of course his response also turned out to be very similar to mom’s; which I found rather funny…in a way. They would both complain to me, but neither would discuss the subject with the other.

Another prime example is a girl I was recently interested in. We had been friends quite some time and finally gotten together. Over the course of the evening we had (I thought) a great time, and I was looking forward to seeing her again. Needless to say I tried to get in touch with her to arrange another date and found myself rather baffled when she failed to return my calls for nearly a month. Later on I find that she had been angry with me over something, which I had not known a thing about. Not having spoken with her I had no chance of learning she was upset, nor any hope of repairing the damage (regardless of it being imagined or otherwise).

The point of my little article here is rather simple. No one needed to stay upset; all they had to do was simply tell the other person that there was a problem. My mom could have made my dad feel more important by listening to him and vice versa. They might have actually felt better after talking, but I don’t know if they did. My friend and I are no longer friends because I became angry in regards to her behavior, lack of communication and lack of respect for my feelings. Being angry (upset, sad or whatever) over something and doing nothing about it is your fault. Being angry and making the others involved informed of the situation means that something could be done to remedy things.

If you won’t talk about it, it’s your own damn fault. Make the problem known so it can be fixed.

  • Communication is Key
  • by Obsidian
  • Published on May 1st, 2002

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