Uneven Field

by Obsidian

Chances are if you’re a male over the age of 16 you’ve had a desire to start up a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, maybe even strike gold and score some digits! Yes that’s right fellas, I’m talking about that nerve-wracking moment where you screw up your courage and make the opening move…ultimately risking ridicule, damaged pride, rejection or worse; all at the hands of a complete stranger. Yet, like the dutiful (or perhaps unaware) masochists we are, men the world over subject themselves to this situation again and again, like lambs to the slaughter.

Few guys have had the good fortune to be approached by a deserter from the Feminazi camp; the rare female who breaks rank takes initiative and makes the first move. Not only is this an unexpected occurrence, such a method of attack is so unprecedented that the unsuspecting male is often defeated without ever having a fighting chance.

In order to determine the reason for this, I asked around among the local female populace available to me who wouldn’t laugh their asses off at my questions. The most common reply (not to mention my personal favorite) was as follows:

Q: Why don’t more women make the first move toward a man?
A: Well, what if he says no? I’d feel so stupid…

Men have been placing their pride on the line for centuries, probably getting shot down 9 times out of 10. Those are shit odds no matter which way you slice it…hell if it were a game in the local casino there’s a good bet that you’d be passing it up for something that offered better chance of winning. The odds for woman are a damn sight better, unless she looks like a cast member from Alien Autopsy or has more chins than a Chinese phone book, she’s likely to score almost every time.

Ok, so you’ve read this far and are probably asking yourself, “What’s your point man?” Simply put, I am referring to woman’s ongoing quest for equal treatment. I don’t deny that inequality exists in spades, but if we’re to go for equal treatment lets aim for it across the board shall we? If we could even things out on the dating field, maybe the rest will fall into place.

  • Uneven Field
  • by Obsidian
  • Published on December 1st, 2001

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