Lost in Fashion

by David Gluzman

How long do you spend in the morning trying to make sure your tie looks right? What kind of knot do you use? Ever had that morning where your tie is just too darn long? Have you seen what dry cleaners charge for a tie now days?

I don’t know about you, but after I finish a long days work in the office (especially in summer) one of the first things I do is take off my tie. I find it extremely uncomfortable and a tad idiotic to wear this fashion piece, which hides my stylish buttons. I do realize that I “have” to wear a tie, but I’ve always been confused why this is “proper” business attire. Female business clothing changes about every 5 seconds, where as in the men’s department it changes every hundred or so years (and not by much either). I would like to know why females don’t have to wear tie’s in the office, while their counterparts do!?

I’m actually only touching the tip of the iceberg here. Another thing that really confuses me is management. Actually, it’s more like how people become management. It’s definitively not because they know how to manage people. From my experience I’ve seen the most idiotic boobs that have slaved away their lives for several years at “xyz” company and finally the company decides that they should be rewarded, in being part of the management team. This is the most absurd logic ever! It would be nice if actual management would be hired because of their great managerial talent, rather than being a simple tie wearing loser.

Ah yes my beloved ties… I think that word could be synonymous with management. Every time I think of a manager I think of some moron telling me what to do with a clashing tie around his eight ball. However, not to sound sexist but there does seem to be more male managers than female and thus the metaphor sticks.

I wish that managers could take off their ties and come back to earth like the rest of the peons slaving away. Yes, you are a normal lackey working for the man; you too have a tie telling you what to do.

I say let’s evolve the male fashion quo into the new era of sitting on our asses all day in front of computers, where wearing a tie keeps blood from flowing at a constant. NO MORE TIES! Burn theses overpriced, easily ruined tacky garments and have some room to breath.

So take off your ties, sit down with the rest of us, and crack open a beer!

// Oh and the last time we checked it was $12 to dry-clean a tie

David Gluzman