Roommates

by David Gluzman

Finding a good roommate is like trying to win the lotto. Trusting people you don’t know to live with you is always a tricky experience, and after a while you find out what type of people you are most compatible to live with are like. A couple years back when I was a virgin to finding “Rent Paying Roommates”, I ran into some great people. Obviously I’m being sarcastic; however, I do have some interesting stories to tell about my old roommates.

Roommate #1. I originally moved out with a friend of mine that I knew back in high school. We were into the same type of stuff (ie, computers, and typical guy stuff). We had a good time living together and for the most part, things went well at our new home (2 bedroom apartment). This relationship lasted about 3 months, until he moved out to go to school in another city. So, I was left high and dry with no one to share the rent (plus he had all the cool stuff, like the TV, couches etc). The hunt for a new roommate was on.

Roommate #2. After about a month of searching for a roommate (and collecting furniture), a friend of mine approached me about this girl he knew that was looking for a place to stay. This girl had just come into town in order to be closer to her boyfriend. Great, rent problem resolved! Round two proved to be not as great as round one. I thought chicks were suppose to be cleaner than guys?! This was one messy roommate, and to top it off she was really bad about paying rent and utilities (which were all in my name of course). So finally after a couple of months, she left unexpectedly early and with no warning, thus bailing out on a month rent. Thusly a nice thick grudge was left over in my mind. Grrr..

Roommate #3. I hate hunting for roommates; did I fail to mention that earlier? It’s just a goddamn pain in the arse (if you haven’t had to do this yet, you have no idea what you’re missing). After a good couple of weeks, I finally found someone that I worked with. It turned out to be an interesting turn of events actually, this girl (ugh, another girl, ew) had just experienced having her current place of residence be victim of a fire, and thus was homeless. Yay, roommate found!

This was most likely the most interesting roommate ever. After a couple months of living with this girl I thought things were great. We got along just fine, and overall she took care of the place quite nicely. However, after a while she decided she needed to bring her cat closer to home (a friend was keeping it, because no pets were allowed in our apartment). The cat had just undergone surgery because it wasn’t eating and thus was very sick. I agreed to have the cat in the apartment secretively until it got better (heck, I felt bad, this cat was half shaved and had a tube sticking out of it’s belly).

A couple months later the cat is still residing in my home (btw, did I mention I’m allergic to cats). This girl would not let her cat leave the apartment (she had 3 cats total, which were scattered around the city). I was rather confused because I didn’t think she liked her cat that much to begin with. She wouldn’t treat this cat very nicely; actually, she hardly fed it to start with, and the cat seemed to be traumatized. It would risk its life on the balcony, and every so often it would come by me and make a shivering motion that would freak me out (looked it was hexing me). Eventually this roommate didn’t spend much time at home, and thus the cat became my responsibility (uuh, no thanks). Finally, after talking with another close friend about perhaps being roommate #4, I asked roommate #3 to leave.

Evidence

I was pretty pumped that my buddy wanted to leave his current place of residence to live with me, and was ecstatic to be rid of the cat. I broke the news to roommate #3 that she would have to leave (I was super nice about it). She seemed fine with my demands and agreed to pay for the damages that occurred with her cat (scratched furniture, stains, etc). Phew, no crazy roommate syndrome here.

A couple days before she was scheduled to move out, I came home to an apartment in disarray. I walked up the stairs to my apartment, and noticed that my front door was wide open. Not only was all my possessions ripe for the taking, there was kitty litter and cat food all over the floor! I turned to turn on the lights and none of the lights in the ENTIRE house would turn on! What in the world was going on!? She had unscrewed ALL the lights in the house! To top it off I was never paid for the damages, and she left a crap load of crap in her room. The only gratification was that I found a bunch of her books lying around and I just fell over laughing (books on witch craft, and an odd book named “There is nothing wrong with you”). The next day I brought all her crap to her place of work (we stopped working together), and put that lastly titled book on top with a note, “name_of_girl here is your stuff”.

Things I’ve learned about roommates:

• Always (always, always), take a security deposit (I don’t care how nice this person is)
  
• Ask for referrals for people you think you know, but would like to know more
  
• Get a higher paying job so that you don’t need roommates
  

So besides the fact that I personally think I’ve lived with a bunch of wackos in the past, I’ve learned a lot about living with people (let alone people in general), and after all theses bad experiences, I’ve finally found someone to live with (well so far anyways :P).

David Gluzman