Scary Movie 3

by Terence Leung

I’m a big fan of dookie jokes. Just love them. Dick and fart jokes too. Pee jokes are just as good. Oh, and don’t forget boobie jokes. I love boobie jokes, mostly because I love boobies and when they make jokes about boobies it just adds to the overall experience.

So, enter Scary Movie 3. One colossal dookie, dick, fart, pee and boobie joke.

Well ok, many jokes of that nature but with very little differentiation between any.

You would think with the flat lining comedic talents of the Wayans’ brothers out of the picture and somewhat legendary writer/director David Zucker (Naked Gun, Airplane!) on board, we would get high quality infantile displays of comedy.

I couldn’t care less about plot; let me see setup and punch line.

After the first ten minutes on a spoof of The Ring (with Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy doubling as schoolgirls no less), the setup and punch line become one and the same. People bop their heads on things and poo seems to pop out of nowhere throughout.

Spoofing in Scary Movie 3 is mainly constricted to ripping apart The Ring, Signs and 8 Mile, which is dangerous because if you haven’t seen one or any (if you haven’t seen any, you are lucky and I envy you), then not much of this movie will make sense.

Much of the spoofing is basically a facsimile of scenes taken from one the three films and, there we have it, inserted with a dookie, dick, fart, pee and/or boobie joke.

Sure there are some funny sequences, particularly with farmer Tom Logan (Charlie Sheen, far removed from his Platoon and Wall Street days) hanging Michael Jackson off a balcony and screaming, “How do you like it?”

But if I’m going to be paying $14 bones to see this, I want to see real poop humor. I want to see Harry Dunn (Jeff Daniels) in Dumb and Dumber playing Montezuma’s revenge in a toilet bowl after being fed a bottle of liquid turbo laxatives by his best friend Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey).

But of course we don’t see real poop humor. Humor is hard, of any kind. I assume.

So it’s basically one of two things. I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about or the entire human society has gone to wretched waste after witnessing the mop up Scary Movie 3 did this past weekend in the box office.

Myself, I hold faith and hope that people know better or will know better. Perhaps the millions this movie will make is due to a slow month in good movies. I just wanted to see some good poop humor.

  • Scary Movie 3
  • by Terence Leung
  • Published on November 1st, 2003
Scary Movie 3
David Zucker
Leslie Nielsen, Eddie Griffin, Denise Richards, Charlie Sheen

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