WATCHMEN – The “What is Alan’s problem?” review.
The WATCHMEN is a hyper-realistic portrayal of superheros set in an alternate 1985 reality. Nixon is serving a third term. The cold war is about to heat up. What’s the point in catching bank robbers, when nuclear war is about to turn the entire planet into a cinder?
In this alternate universe, female superheros who wear tight latex excite not just the plebs, but other superheros as well. Superhero sex then follows. Sometimes this is consensual.
“I’m never going to watch this fucking thing.” – Alan Moore
Zack Snyder’s WATCHMEN is an amazing adaptation of Moore’s brilliant graphic novel. While viewing I was reminded just how fascinating Moore’s characters were, and busy soaking up all the fleshed-out visuals.
Yes I enjoyed this movie. I’d highly recommend it to any movie-guy or comic book geek. I would also recommend it to Alan Moore.
Brilliant artists can be divided up into 2 camps.
There’s talented individuals who are exploring not just their own creativity but curious how their creativity in-turn inspires others.
Reznor might not want to see one of his remixable tracks turned into muzak and used to score gay midget porn, but he’s probably willing to take that risk knowing that some of the permutations will have artistic merit and perhaps he’s curious what will be created from them.
The other type of brilliant artist would be Alan Moore.
Alan, you’re not even curious what Snyder would do to WATCHMEN? Is it a busy thing? You can’t take a few hours out of your life to sit through it? If Robert Louis Stevenson showed up at your door, would you wave a copy of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen in his face, and ask him to check it out? I bet he’d take a look, knowing how highly regarded your previous works were.
For anyone who’s read this far and is still debating seeing the movie right now (the other option being eventually as there is no third option), I would suggest that the movie and graphic novel are both worth consuming. There is no suboptimal order.
The current 2.5 hour theatrical release will be followed by longer versions which incorporate “Tales of the Black Freighter” (the pirate story within-the-story) and more flashbacks. Don’t bet on the longer versions being superior as a movie experience. I’ll certainly be checking them out, but know the current release is an excellent movie in its own right.
- WATCHMEN – The “What is Alan’s problem?” review.
- by Gordon McDowell
- Published on March 5th, 2009
- Zack Snyder
- Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino, Matt Frewer, Stephen McHattie, Laura Mennell, Rob LaBelle, Gary Houston, James M. Connor, Mary Ann Burger, John Shaw
More from Gordon McDowell:
Who Makes Movies?
The MPAA has expanded the scope of their anti-piracy campaign, with spots specifically targeting horror fans, Bridget Fonda fans, and porn lovers. We salute the MPAA in their struggle against all that is evil.
How to Receive Both Infrared and Visible Light
As the little grey men walk across the scorched surface of our planet, I shall witness their approach… by monitoring the INFRARED SPECTRUM.
Canadian DCMA: Protect Your Anus
If you’re a Canadian concerned about your fair-use rights, or Canada’s ability to compete in the world economy… then you’ve probably already asked yourself, “What can I do to ensure Canada’s future copyright legislation isn’t written strictly to appease multinational media corporations?”
Brownie points with Slumdog Millionaire
That's what your woman has really been craving every time she goes to see a chick flick, but she doesn't know it. In fact it is scientifically impossible for a woman NOT to watch the Slumdog Millionaire end credits and not feel deeply satisfied.
What guy cares about diamonds, period? Gangsta rappers looking for bling… and homosexual pop stars. That’s it. If you are neither one of those, and you’re buying a diamond, then you’re looking to get yourself a wife, or you need to cut glass.
Calgary Hearts Dubya
The lecture circuit is an alluring mistress. She doesn’t care about your past deeds, only that you have fame. Success and failure are one in the same to her, so long as either is massive in scale.
Other recent features:
Sónar 2010 – Barcelona, Spain
The festival attracts a lot of outsiders, but the Mediterranean, Spanish and more specifically Catalan nature of the people makes the festival what it is. Catalan people are passionate and this passion is infectious. The atmosphere is electric in Barcelona as a city and heightened by music and intoxicants at Sónar.
Summer Party Naval Styles at Seven RestoLounge
Oysters, like wine are affected by terroir and these Miyagi’s flavor profiles ranged with one showing a cleaner, almost tropical profile and the other being more salty, marine driven. As I was devouring the seemingly endless plates put in front of us, I sipped on a glass of fine sauvignon blanc.
R4NT Radio March 2010
R4NT Radio March 2010 um wow it’s been far too long since the last edition edition, featuring: Hector Hernandez, The Infesticons, Blockhead, Gramatik, Emika, Thunderheist, Parov Stelar, Eddy Meets Yannah, Anti-Pop Consortium, The Slew, Lighterthief, Andreya Triana, Parasyte Woman, Mathon, Venetian Snares, and Funki Porcini.
O Restaurant & Lounge revisited
Calgary has a diverse set of urban communities, most of which have the ubiquitous strip mall watering hole. In the South West community of Marda Loop, a reinvention of this paradigm has been established.
Predictions 2010.. and beyond!
So 2010 eh? Almost but not quite (no year zero they say) another decade? It seems like just yesterday that the world was waiting for Y2K. R4NT started publishing in March 2001, so we’re not quite 10 years old yet, but in internet years we are already a senior citizen.
No matter what, the reality of Nelson Mandela is something that deserves screen time. Should this film even remotely intrigue the masses to take interest in this figure, the world would likely benefit greatly from it.