How to Receive Both Infrared and Visible Light
If you’ll notice, the confines of this video are not just property lines. It is a video one can shoot without exposing the self to sunlight. Or neighbours. Or friends. Or goats.
True, sunlight has not been a concern to most on these winter days… to most. Pah! If sunlight does not burn thy skin, then perhaps you should spend more time outside. Yes, enjoy your precious sunlight. Breathe deep the outside air. WHILE IT LASTS.
We have all we need right here, my Digital8 camera and me. Food, water, electricity and shade… privacy. Sunlight be DAMNED!!! For when the sun is blotted by vast grey circular ships, I shall have no need. You won’t see them. NONE OF YOU WILL. For they can not be seen by the human eye!
As the little grey men walk across the scorched surface of our planet, I shall witness their approach… by monitoring the INFRARED SPECTRUM.
Hello little friends. Yes I see you approaching. You zapped all the others with your deadly ray guns, but because I see you in my videocamera’s infrared mode, I can wave. Friendly wave! Don’t shoot! Don’t eat! Friend!
What’s that? You need someone to be your new leader? Why… at 5’6″… I’m not just big in charisma to you little grey folk… you actually look up to me. Here… here you go. This is what we on earth call “a pen”. See!?! You can write with it. On paper? Do you have paper where you come from?
No? No paper huh? I have so much to teach you!
So long Earth. So long crispy fried earthlings…. I guess your SPF 50 was no protection from the grey’s deadly ray guns… who would have thought?
Guess I’ll just grab a pad of paper and a pen before we leave…. and my infrared camera. And its charger. Hope the grey’s have AC outlets on their spaceships!
Wheeeeeeee! Up we gooooooooooooooooooo…
- How to Receive Both Infrared and Visible Light
- by Gordon McDowell
- Published on January 1st, 2006
More from Gordon McDowell:
-
Canadian DCMA: Protect Your Anus
If you’re a Canadian concerned about your fair-use rights, or Canada’s ability to compete in the world economy… then you’ve probably already asked yourself, “What can I do to ensure Canada’s future copyright legislation isn’t written strictly to appease multinational media corporations?”
-
CO2 – We Call It Death
When I first saw “An Inconvenient Truth”, I was touched deeply by Al Gore’s naivete. To bring science and facts to the global warming debate, is a bit like bringing a knife to a gunfight. Al, nice try. But the only way to fight stupid is with even more stupid. I’ll take over now.
-
SugarPlumHoneyBun
And so Vahini entered the tub. She with the understanding that the bra she wore would protect her decency. And I with the understanding the bubbles… the precious bubbles…
-
Brownie points with Slumdog Millionaire
That's what your woman has really been craving every time she goes to see a chick flick, but she doesn't know it. In fact it is scientifically impossible for a woman NOT to watch the Slumdog Millionaire end credits and not feel deeply satisfied.
-
R4NT Video: 10 Cents
Gordon McDowell and Geoff Helmer take the reigns and herein have spurred some heated discussion on borrowing.
-
R4NT Video: Elbow River Serial Killer
The Elbow doesn’t clean itself ya know. A rather in depth discussion about the Elbow River Serial killer, in movie form. Are we there yet?
Other recent features:
-
Sónar 2010 – Barcelona, Spain
The festival attracts a lot of outsiders, but the Mediterranean, Spanish and more specifically Catalan nature of the people makes the festival what it is. Catalan people are passionate and this passion is infectious. The atmosphere is electric in Barcelona as a city and heightened by music and intoxicants at Sónar.
-
Summer Party Naval Styles at Seven RestoLounge
Oysters, like wine are affected by terroir and these Miyagi’s flavor profiles ranged with one showing a cleaner, almost tropical profile and the other being more salty, marine driven. As I was devouring the seemingly endless plates put in front of us, I sipped on a glass of fine sauvignon blanc.
-
R4NT Radio March 2010
R4NT Radio March 2010 um wow it’s been far too long since the last edition edition, featuring: Hector Hernandez, The Infesticons, Blockhead, Gramatik, Emika, Thunderheist, Parov Stelar, Eddy Meets Yannah, Anti-Pop Consortium, The Slew, Lighterthief, Andreya Triana, Parasyte Woman, Mathon, Venetian Snares, and Funki Porcini.
-
O Restaurant & Lounge revisited
Calgary has a diverse set of urban communities, most of which have the ubiquitous strip mall watering hole. In the South West community of Marda Loop, a reinvention of this paradigm has been established.
-
Predictions 2010.. and beyond!
So 2010 eh? Almost but not quite (no year zero they say) another decade? It seems like just yesterday that the world was waiting for Y2K. R4NT started publishing in March 2001, so we’re not quite 10 years old yet, but in internet years we are already a senior citizen.
-
Invictus
No matter what, the reality of Nelson Mandela is something that deserves screen time. Should this film even remotely intrigue the masses to take interest in this figure, the world would likely benefit greatly from it.


