TV Crap

by David Gluzman

I’ve never bought ANY TV commercialized product, and I don’t plan to anytime soon. Yet every time I see one broadcasted I question their business model and their morals.

First off the products. “Not available in stores!!!” Umm.. okay, next week when I’m out getting groceries I’ll spot some miracle cleaning product “as seen on tv” staring me in the face. Hmm. Interesting, sounds like a lie to me, makes me question if this product is also a lie!

Secondly, the price of said products. Oh yes, that compilation CD of the best smooth rock of the 80’s looks really tempting, yet what the hell is going on with their pricing!? A Canadian company, on Canadian television, yet has the audacity to sell in AMERICAN dollars?! That doesn’t make any sense, and sheesh, I wouldn’t pay $24 Canadian let alone American dollars for ANY cd. Oh. And my absolute favorite, “Shipping and Handling”; now is it just me or are these prices a tad over the hill? Jesus Murphy, $9.99usd to ship a product that weights less than a pound? Man, when did Canada post get so freaking insane in their pricing? “Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery” What, do they not have STOCK of this product that they are selling, or is it being delivered on horseback?

Good lord.

Now for the flip side of all this.. Who buys any of this crap? Let alone the excessive prices of everything and retarded shipping costs. How do these (or one company) stay in business longer than a month? Yes, I’m sure TV advertising rates at 1am must be cheap, but it still that costs money. And it’s not like you see the ad once in an evening either, it’s more of a constant.

My favorite of the TV commercialized products though are the half hour to an hour specials where they showcase their products to the infinite end. Also the “genuine” testimonials have me sold! “Learn how to make a living buying and selling real-estate with no money down”, ummm okay.. Do I need to be certain age or something? Tell me more! Um, now pretty cloudy explanations on how it works and what sort of criteria you need, but alas somehow people buy this handbook of 52 books, and 12 cassette tapes.

Buy me a house with zero down RIGHT freaking now. I’m jumping on that bandwagon.. Crap I need at least $40.. no wait.. make that 52 installments of $40, crap I can’t afford that. Hmm.. Maybe I’ll just put that on my credit card and then refund it with the 100% satisfaction guaranty! Mwhaha.. *yawn*

  • TV Crap
  • by David Gluzman
  • Published on February 1st, 2003

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