Large, and in Charge.

by Crom

Recently I began weight training again. In high school I spent the better part of my time hanging at the gym with my bud’s, lifting heavy shit, and playing basketball. I’ve always enjoyed lifting, as it didn’t cause the suicidal boredom most exercise regimes invoke, and I had friends who wanted to do it as well. Last August my brother and I started going to the gym. A strict 6 day workout schedule, which then led to a 5 day workout schedule, because otherwise your bones don’t stay together. Last week, while curling, my brother engaged one of the many gym grommets we always see in conversation, that went something like this:

Jackass: “Hey back liftin’ eh?”

My Brother: “Yep. Same old same old.”
Jackass: “Yep, lifting shit, popping the pills.”

And then, the gym weasel ambled off to the other side of the gym. My brother simply stood in mute shock for a moment before coming over to me and detailing his conversation; I found it odd. My brother was getting bigger, but he certainly didn’t look like someone who was hitting the needle. More importantly, my brother would never do so. Neither would I. I knew a guy in high school who tried to get me on the juice program. I still don’t understand why, his argument was somewhat senseless.

Mid 90’s jackass: “Hey dude, you should totally get on the juice, don’t you wanna be bigger?”

Crom: “Uh, dude, I’m huge already, I’m a fucking monster.”
Mid 90’s jackass: “yeah but you could be totally ripped!”
Crom: “Go away.”

I’ve had a lot of conversations with D4V about performance enhancers, in his cycling days he’d come across a few people who used. I never understand. I think we’ve managed to program people into being retarded, and having no value in winning. Obviously people do drugs in order to gain an edge, but I personally would rather hone an edge through blood and sweat. I’ve seen varied opinions about juice over the years, those that swear by it claiming that there are no ill effects to proper usage, those who curse its name, and those who’ve become lesser men and women for their transgressions. I’m going to set the record straight.

First off, let me throw a giant “Fuck You” out to the people on them right now. Frankly, you’re weak. You’re weak and you don’t have the balls to admit to it. I would rather be the 4th place schmoe, then be the 1st place guy whose veins are pumping liquid shit through your body. Personal bias has me shooting for my potential, not shooting up for potential. If I lay it all out, burn my body and soul to the very core of their being and come up short of 1st, then at least I know I’ve thrown my best punch. I can keep my head up anywhere, knowing that I achieved something. But were I to gain a higher standing through the graces of performance enhancers, I would spend the rest of my life haunted by the fact that I never knew my true potential. And, more importantly, if I could have achieved it a la carte.

Most of these fools are on this shit because they lack the discipline and vigor to achieve without them. Laziness is the foremost reason behind the use of steroids, that and the continual pissing contest between the humans. If you can’t stand going to the gym with regular frequency and gaining muscle and power through effort and time, then eat my shit. You’re a fucking weakling who can rot for all I care. Death before Dishonor. If you haven’t got the balls to make the time and sweat it out, you’re an empty shell of a human being, and the day it all hits the fan you’re going to fail. Because you can’t push yourself till everything inside you wants to fall down and die, but still continue. I have no respect for people who use performance enhancing chemicals. You’re the reason children cry, you’re the reason jesus is dead. Fuck you.

“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” –Theodore Roosevelt

Crom