If their Bourgeois friends can’t handle it, let ’em riot

by Crom

As I am usually doing now I was traveling for work, in Ontario, just outside Hamilton. Tooling along listening to the local radio, which I might add is just as bad as the local stations in Calgary. And, as the jawing record monkeys sometimes do these fools decide to throw a few news articles of interest across the airwaves. Most of the news in Ontario is of the same variety as in Alberta…namely boring and stupid. However one item caught my interest; the governor of Ontario is outlawing panhandling on city streets. Assuming, naturally, that the homeless are out to get your change for no better reason then to make your day shitty.


You know were I homeless, and an activist, two careers that may not happen at the same time, but nothing’s impossible, I’d be pretty pissed off. You know I can’t really think of any situation that would lead me to being homeless, but then I imagine that most homeless people didn’t list it as their goals during their high school questionnaires, but it’s possible that one day I’ll be forced to live on the streets. I can tell you that I’d really appreciate people throwing some green my way, if I was using a pizza box as a pillow. This decree follows several like it in and around Canada. And it’s never made any sense. We’ll make panhandling illegal, so when the cops find a homeless guy trying to get some change, they’ll arrest him. They’ll put him in lock up and await a court date. So he goes to court, he gets fined, except they have no god damn money, so they’ll go to jail, for a week, get released and put back out on the street with sweet FA and be right back to square one. This plan is awesome. I’m glad my tax money is used to perpetuate a cycle of neglect. Right up there with having police tail driver’s with recurring moving violations in an effort to revoke their licenses. While we’re throwing money away why don’t we just chuck some wheel barrels full of cash down a well.

You know a lot of people don’t like it when they’re accosted for change on the street; I’m not a big fan of it myself. Most people think they’re going to buy booze with the money they give them, well if I was walking around talking to parking meters all day long and living in a Maytag fridge box I’d want a six of my favorites too. I personally don’t think it’s my business. If I’ve got some spare minerals I shell out, like a respectable human being. The only people I don’t give change to are able bodied teens asking for change. You know, I imagine that were you a homeless teen it would lick balls, but there are far more effective ways to make cash, i.e. a job. Now some of them have been on the street so long they don’t have the resources to hold it down, well there ARE services in place for them to use, if you’re too proud to ask for help, you’re too proud to have my change good chum. Most are just short on pocket money and want to buy smokes; well sorry I’m not the Publishers Clearing house.

The fact that there’s a legislative body actually giving this thought makes me shake my head, don’t you have staggering budgets and failing healthcare to worry about? Why don’t we give the fucking homeless people some slack while we fix some of the issues that are destroying the country. I just want to point out to the governing powers of Canada who are so down on panhandlers: When the scandalous video of you snorting cocaine of a strippers tits while molesting a high school senior on GHB go public and you’re booted out of office, divorced and sued for every fucking cent you have, and you get to retire to the alley behind sears, and no one gives you a red cent, I hope you can look back on the moment you fucked the homeless with a touch of ironic amusement, and enjoy the taste of poetic justice. Trust me, the tears of infinite sadness taste yummy.

  • If their Bourgeois friends can’t handle it, let ’em riot
  • by Crom
  • Published on October 1st, 2003

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