The bubbles. Ah the bubbles.
“Vahini, I need you to play this woman in a tub. You’re bathing in a tub. I’ll video tape you. It will be awsome!”
“Gord if you think I’m gonna strip down naked and get in your tub, you’re sadly mistaken. I’m outta here.”
“No Vahini, its not like that at all… see… uh… you’ll be clothed. You’re not REALLY naked. We’ll… we’ll… put bubbles in the water. It’ll be a bubble bath. It will cover your bra.”
And so Vahini entered the tub. She with the understanding that the bra she wore would protect her decency. And I with the understanding the bubbles… the precious bubbles… would protect the illusion of nudity.
How to make bubbles? Its not like I had any bubble bath on hand. Who does? What man keeps a stash of bubble bath? That would be gay. Or at least require pre-planning.
So dishsoap it was. Dishsoap is a harsh mistress. It makes you work for those precious few bubbles. Barely hiding the bra with their teasingly short lifespan.
We spent more time squirting in soap and running hot water then actually shooting. And the bra that did get caught on camera? Hello hours of post production! With the time I put into digital-bra-removal, George Lucas could have invented a lovable CGI character based on some racial minority.
After taping this skit, the next time I passed by a Body Shop I took a quick look around… to make sure no one else was watching. I darted inside and made my first bubble bath purchase.
Because you just never know when you’ll need a bathtub full of bubbles. But not in a gay way.
- by Gordon McDowell
- Published on October 1st, 2005
More from Gordon McDowell:
Body of Lies
Rebecca tears his shirt off and pours hot wax down his chest. She rapes him while grinding a broken light bulb into his back. And she also scratches his back with her fingernails. Ah, 1993 was a simpler time, one of indian burns and 20 chocolate bars jammed into various body cavities.
Why might I need a HD Camera?
Now why would you shoot at 16:9? Aside from artistic reasons, it has the potential to look sharper when played back on a high definition television.
Winners don’t use drugs
Like a chameleon in the urban jungle Mr.McDowell once again proves to use all that one should never give up on their dreams. And if their dreams be it be a ladder, so be it.
Date Movies: Beerfest vs Amanda
It’s like asking a man to clean a toilet, or crap out a baby. Sure, with superhuman effort, just about anything is possible. But is it really worth all the extra work? Wouldn’t it be easier to just hand the scrub brush to someone better suited for the task?
He was a perfect mole, working for a combined CIA/ISI task force. Khan sent and received encrypted e-mails to key al Qaeda figures in the hope of pinpointing their locations and intentions.
CO2 – We Call It Death
When I first saw “An Inconvenient Truth”, I was touched deeply by Al Gore’s naivete. To bring science and facts to the global warming debate, is a bit like bringing a knife to a gunfight. Al, nice try. But the only way to fight stupid is with even more stupid. I’ll take over now.
Other recent features:
Sónar 2010 – Barcelona, Spain
The festival attracts a lot of outsiders, but the Mediterranean, Spanish and more specifically Catalan nature of the people makes the festival what it is. Catalan people are passionate and this passion is infectious. The atmosphere is electric in Barcelona as a city and heightened by music and intoxicants at Sónar.
Summer Party Naval Styles at Seven RestoLounge
Oysters, like wine are affected by terroir and these Miyagi’s flavor profiles ranged with one showing a cleaner, almost tropical profile and the other being more salty, marine driven. As I was devouring the seemingly endless plates put in front of us, I sipped on a glass of fine sauvignon blanc.
R4NT Radio March 2010
R4NT Radio March 2010 um wow it’s been far too long since the last edition edition, featuring: Hector Hernandez, The Infesticons, Blockhead, Gramatik, Emika, Thunderheist, Parov Stelar, Eddy Meets Yannah, Anti-Pop Consortium, The Slew, Lighterthief, Andreya Triana, Parasyte Woman, Mathon, Venetian Snares, and Funki Porcini.
O Restaurant & Lounge revisited
Calgary has a diverse set of urban communities, most of which have the ubiquitous strip mall watering hole. In the South West community of Marda Loop, a reinvention of this paradigm has been established.
Predictions 2010.. and beyond!
So 2010 eh? Almost but not quite (no year zero they say) another decade? It seems like just yesterday that the world was waiting for Y2K. R4NT started publishing in March 2001, so we’re not quite 10 years old yet, but in internet years we are already a senior citizen.
No matter what, the reality of Nelson Mandela is something that deserves screen time. Should this film even remotely intrigue the masses to take interest in this figure, the world would likely benefit greatly from it.