Bachelor Chow

by Wartank

The following technical manual is intended yet not limited to: Bachelors, Single Men, and / or recent divorcees. Please consult accordingly.

I can’t cook worth a damn however I do know how to make a few select things that I think taste good, quick to make, and more importantly fill you up. This flexible recipe shouldn’t take you any longer than 15 minutes so stop stalling and get busy.

This is what you need:

  • Rice
  • Meat
  • Veggies
  • Garlic
  • Oil or Butter
  • A brain (mostly your own)

So here’s the plan, rather than order up yet another pizza, bust out a frying pan and a pot to stir up some rice. Instructions within:

Make rice!

Follow your Chinese heritage and get busy. Actually never mind, pickup some quick 5 minute rice or something to that effect (Parboiled Rice is a failsafe), you can either microwave this stuff, or stove top cook it (you can steam it too, but I’ll just assume nobody that is actually reading this has a steamer). You’ll want to make about a cup or two of rice. Take note, Parboiled rice is a 1:2 ratio against water, thus if you have 1 cup of rice, you need to add 2 cups of water. If you are confused, stop reading now, and go order that 5th pizza of the week.

Got Rice? Good, cause you’re going to need that shizzle later.

Pick your meat.. I generally stick with chicken or beef because it fries up real easy and heck I must be part black cause I dig that fried chicken. Slice up your meet, and then find some veggies (Peppers, Bean Sprouts, Carrots, Broccoli you name it) and promptly cut that stuff up too.

Lay-up a frying pan with some Olive oil (or whatever oil you got, heck even butter works) and toss in a handful of chopped garlic (I love garlic and use it accordingly). Let that stinker get a nice golden texture then add in your meat. Once you have cooked your meet enough that it won’t kill you, add your veggies a few minutes before then to the mix. You’ll want to add some sauces such as, Worcestershire and Soy (if you lack these, just add salt and pepper). Sauces are pretty loose option, you can add whatever the heck you like or have sitting around (think hot stuff). Anyways we’re getting off track. Cook that shit up, and cover it up if you can (keeps the taste in, and cooks faster).

MMM.. Smelling it yet?

Well that’s about it, once you think everything has turned nice textures and colors you are ready to eat. Pile on some rice onto some plates and serve the stir-fry on top of the white maggots. Presto!

  • Bachelor Chow
  • by Wartank
  • Published on February 1st, 2004

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