WATCHMEN – The “What is Alan’s problem?” review.

by Gordon McDowell

The WATCHMEN is a hyper-realistic portrayal of superheros set in an alternate 1985 reality. Nixon is serving a third term. The cold war is about to heat up. What’s the point in catching bank robbers, when nuclear war is about to turn the entire planet into a cinder?

In this alternate universe, female superheros who wear tight latex excite not just the plebs, but other superheros as well. Superhero sex then follows. Sometimes this is consensual.

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“I’m never going to watch this fucking thing.” – Alan Moore

Zack Snyder’s WATCHMEN is an amazing adaptation of Moore’s brilliant graphic novel. While viewing I was reminded just how fascinating Moore’s characters were, and busy soaking up all the fleshed-out visuals.

Yes I enjoyed this movie. I’d highly recommend it to any movie-guy or comic book geek. I would also recommend it to Alan Moore.

Brilliant artists can be divided up into 2 camps.

There’s talented individuals who are exploring not just their own creativity but curious how their creativity in-turn inspires others.

Trent Reznor, David Bryne and Cory Doctorow spring to mind as creators who have allowed their fans to distribute (for free) interpretations of their works.

Reznor might not want to see one of his remixable tracks turned into muzak and used to score gay midget porn, but he’s probably willing to take that risk knowing that some of the permutations will have artistic merit and perhaps he’s curious what will be created from them.

The other type of brilliant artist would be Alan Moore.

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Alan, you’re not even curious what Snyder would do to WATCHMEN? Is it a busy thing? You can’t take a few hours out of your life to sit through it? If Robert Louis Stevenson showed up at your door, would you wave a copy of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen in his face, and ask him to check it out? I bet he’d take a look, knowing how highly regarded your previous works were.

You’re not some chump off the street who scratched a few doodles on a napkin. And Zack Snyder is no Stephen Norrington.

For anyone who’s read this far and is still debating seeing the movie right now (the other option being eventually as there is no third option), I would suggest that the movie and graphic novel are both worth consuming. There is no suboptimal order.

The current 2.5 hour theatrical release will be followed by longer versions which incorporate “Tales of the Black Freighter” (the pirate story within-the-story) and more flashbacks. Don’t bet on the longer versions being superior as a movie experience. I’ll certainly be checking them out, but know the current release is an excellent movie in its own right.

  • WATCHMEN – The “What is Alan’s problem?” review.
  • by Gordon McDowell
  • Published on March 5th, 2009
Zack Snyder
Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino, Matt Frewer, Stephen McHattie, Laura Mennell, Rob LaBelle, Gary Houston, James M. Connor, Mary Ann Burger, John Shaw

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