by David Gluzman

This topic has been beaten to death with a baseball bat, but this time I’m bringing out the Louisville slugger. First off, try doing the following: Rub your tummy and tap your head with your hand. Some of you will have no problems doing this cause you’ve done this trick before, however if this was your first time attempting to do this you’d have realized that it’s quite difficult to juggle the two tasks. Even if you are a seasoned pro in this trick you still have to consciously think about it.

There is a law in our city that states billboards cannot be placed on highways or major roads. Why? Because it’s a distraction for the drivers that peer over to look at them, and thus could raise the possibilities of an accident. So why is it that everyday I see more and more people talking on their cell phones while driving? Come-on people, do you really need to talk on the phone that bad? I don’t freaking think so.

The really funny thing that gets me, is the fact that I used to think the major culprits to this crime were young teens. Now I see more old people (even seniors) talking on their phones will driving their stupid SUV’s. Yet, insurance for young people (under 25) is still extremely more expensive than for “mature adults”. FUCK AROUND. Old people’s insurance is suppose to be less because they have more experience at the wheel and thus should then be less likely to cause accidents.

Speaking of insurance, why is insurance cheaper for chicks than for guys? Ooooh, right cause girls drive safer. My ass. I think the old reason for this phenomenon was that girls didn’t take up nearly as much of the driving population as guys did; however, times have changed and insurance hasn’t. FACT: Chicks are crazy drivers! Zooming in daddy’s brand new jaguar while passing in and out of lanes @ 30km/h over the speed limit while talking on their cell phones and smoking a cigarette.

Smoking. The pleasurable nicotine cancer feasted habit which pollutes our fresh air. Now I understand that people are addicted to this filthy habit, and that needs are apparent (ie: smoke breaks, smoking after or while eating etc..), but really, do you have to smoke while driving? This is just fucking disgusting for one, let alone juggling a lighted cigarette while shifting or turning can be quite hazardous. I’ve even heard about someone throwing out their lighted butt out the window and hitting a child in the eye. WTF?!@

I think I could write about stupid driving habits all freaking day, but I think I’ll let your imagination run wild with this one. Here I’ll even get you started: Doing makeup, reading the paper, or even scratching your balls. Theses habits could all be fatal, so next time you have the urge make sure it’s safe. So anyways, keep on trucking, you #@$%@)%$ idiots.

  • uOY KCuF
  • by David Gluzman
  • Published on July 1st, 2001

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