Kingston to Calgary

by Ian Harding

376 days ago, my life changed. I made a decision that was going to affect me on a level that nothing had ever had on me before. Living in a small Ontario town called Sydenham for 95% of my life, most people around me were hard-core locals. Not me though. Compared to people in my area, I was certainly no stranger when it came to seeing other parts of the world. I had been to the Netherlands, Germany, England, the Caribbean, some of the US, and had been across Canada. I felt privileged because of this, for many of my friends had never been out of Ontario their entire lives. Everyone I knew was in Sydenham and the surrounding area. Friends, family, school and work. When you spend your whole life somewhere, you tend to know some people.

That was all about to change. After completing school, I found myself back at the ?rents house once again. I had nothing holding me down. No work. No school. No girlfriend. No criminal records. And so, after some long thoughts, I made a decision. I decided I was going to move away. Not because I disliked where I was living, but because I was afraid that if I didn?t make a move now, I never would. Sydenham was small, and I wanted more. I needed to go where the money was, and even though I much preferred living in the country, I knew that I was headed for a major city.

With first-round plans to move to Vancouver and meet up with a college buddy, I finally managed to convince a close friend of mine to ditch his crap-hole job and come with me. Chris (a friend who was finished school and working at the time), had family in Calgary. So I changed my mindset from Vancouver to Calgary as we figured we figured we could shack with them until we found a place of our own. Some of the best skiing in Canada was also only a short drive away from the city, so I was content with Calgary. I was ready.

On Friday July 9, 2004, at 2:30pm, with only a small make-shift trailer and some selected bare essentials packed, Ian and Chris embarked on their adventure. Keeping a point-form log and snapping some random photos along the way, they captured their story in time. These are their notes. This is their journey?

Day 1

• Ian starts off the long drive
• Crazy Kingston drivers won?t be missed
• Head to Chris? parent?s house to pick up some final items
• Chris dismantles his bike after his father ?tries? to direct him how to do it
• Chris? father’s words of wisdom: ?You?re not going to make it?
• Official time of departure: 2:30pm, Friday, July 9, 2004
• On the highway, both Chris and Ian constantly check each corresponding wheel on the trailer ensuring that everything stays okay. It was dubbed ?The Kryptonite Trailer?
• The night before the trip, Chris went to a pool party and sliced open his foot on the deck (**Footnote: Still bleeding, new band-aid applied)
• Passed through Beaverton, Ontario where beavers appear to be everywhere (Beaver River, Beaver Avenue, etc.)
• They see tractors on poles (about 15-20) lining a long driveway, kind of interesting, yet very strange
• Chris takes over driving near Fesserton, Ontario
• Narrow stretch of nothing but rock and trees (typical scenery heading to Northern Ontario)
• Enter Sudbury around 10pm
• Didn’t get to see big nickel because they turned off before it. Not a huge loss?
• Joined the TCH (Trans Canada Highway) and were just about taken out by a crazy Sudburian driver (looks like Kingston isn’t the only place with crazy drivers)
• Drove for a long time… sun has disappeared
• Stopped into Provincial Park at 11:30pm for a rest, but wouldn?t ya know it. Closed.
• Cooled engine and emptied bladders
• Multiple complaints from Chris about headlights and tailgaters (Chris always seems to get the rough driving)
• Suddenly, out of nowhere… a horrible squeaking sound
• Chris jogged beside the car and still couldn’t figure out what it was
• One thing was for sure; they knew it wasn?t the Cavalier. It was the Kryptonite Trailer
• Attempted to drive to next service area, but construction blocked it all off
• Missed service area and ended up in Blind River, unaware of their eventual longer-than-planned visit
• Set up tent near information centre
• Tried to examine the trailer, but it was too dark to see anything
• Sleep location #1: Information Centre. Blind River, Ontario

Day 2

• Rise and shine at 6:30am
• Something is going down here… senior citizens are setting up tables and day tents around the area…
• Have a quick look at right trailer wheel… not a good sight? if they had attempted to drive any further, the wheel would?ve fallen off
• Chris walks to local Home Hardware and snags two cinder blocks
• Realize trailer wheel is fubar’d! So much for Kryptonite
• Ian’s stress/frustration level is currently around 30%
• Check with local NAPAR Auto Parts for help
• Conclude it’s the wheel bearings, but they can’t help without the old parts
• NAPAR guy recommends Jessie’s Towing Service
• Ian calls Jessie, waking him, then waits an hour for his arrival
• Jessie arrives with a large flatbed trailer
• He tells them he can only work on the trailer at his shop since he has no tools with him
• Our heroes watch helplessly as their trailer is loaded onto the flatbed

• They drive to Jessie’s wrecking yard
• They hope he’s not taking them to his ?lair??
• Jessie spends 30 minutes taking apart wheel and bearings while Chris and Ian wait impatiently for the results
• When they ask how much Jessie wants for his help, he ponders for a minute
• Chris and Ian know what he’s thinking; ?I can charge whatever I want because they have no other choice?
• Charges them $96.00, and after coming to the conclusion that murdering Jessie and hiding his corpse was not a good idea, Ian pays him
• Old bearings are useless, time for a new plan
• Ian looks up closest Uhaul, which ends up being 45 minutes away in Elliott Lake
• Drive to Elliott Lake for first time, which is a boring drive through trees and hills
• After asking for directions and Ian giving a local the finger because the guy was upset at Ian trying to be courteous to another local, they finally find the Uhaul building
• The Uhaul receptionist shows them the only two trailers that the Cavalier can handle (the smallest ones of course). However, one is broken and cannot be used and the other is spoken for
• The customer is scheduled to pick it up any time that day
• Chris and Ian decide to wait for the customer to come so they can bargain for the smaller trailer
• Ian’s stress/frustration level is now currently around 50%
• Customer arrives and after a quick conversation along with some puppy-dog faces, the man agrees to take larger trailer and leave Chris and Ian the smaller one
• Customer leaves with larger trailer, and then Chris and moron local begin to hook up the smaller one
• Receptionist takes Ian through payment and checkout procedure, then strikes Ian with a bombshell; $1000+ for the trailer
• Ian instantly loses it, since he knows he doesn?t have anywhere near $1000
• He immediately declines, keeps himself from breaking something, and his stress/frustration level skyrockets to 80%
• Ian yells to Chris and local to unhook trailer
• Ian is obviously not impressed by everything
• Quickly peeled out of Uhaul parking lot and went to Canadian Tire to try for help
• Shop worker Ray says he’s busy but might be able to help, but he wants the old parts to verify
• Uh oh, don?t have them. Back to Blind River? another 45-minute drive
• Get to Blind River and try to find Jessie?s again
• Get backed up because of a local parade. Wouldn’t you know it, the whole town has gathered for a daylong celebration
• After a 30-minute parade wait, Chris and Ian get to Jessie?s only to find their trailer locked inside his auto shop
• Ian’s stress/frustration level is now hovering around 85%, which is not safe at all
• Chris and Ian check every door into the building. All locked
• Finally Jessie returns, only to tell Ian his credit card hadn?t worked for the initial $96 payment
• Chris sighs and pays again with his. Jessie calls and waits to confirm its approval. Success!
• Jessie gives them the dead parts and says, ?get new bearings and I’ll fix it tonight?
• Back to Elliott Lake Canadian Tire with the old parts (45-minutes remember)
• Time for a glazed scone… the only food they will eat all day
• Wait at Canadian Tire while parts manager searches inventory for new bearings
• 15 minutes later, no such luck. No good news after all
• Only two options left… go home, or take another trailer that Ian’s ?rents will drive 10 hours to deliver
• Aaand BACK to Blind River
• Almost back, they catch a 1.5 second glimpse of a small black bear
• First good thing all day. Not good enough though… they?re still pondering their few options
• Bear brings Ian’s stress/frustration level down to 70%… awww?
• Arrive a local KOA campground…. ponder some more. Very quiet times right now…
• Decide to call ‘rents and go with the new trailer delivery
• Ian?s ?rents skip a wedding for their son…. must be the best parents on earth
• Knowing the ?rents won?t arrive for at least 10 hours, Chris and Ian get a campsite and relax
• Into the pool after some teeter-totter action
• Hungry, our two stranded heroes decide to cook a single can of Cream of Chicken soup
• But how? They had no stove or cookware, but they were Boy Scouts ? think?
• Construction of pop can soup cookers commences

• Fire is made and soup is cooked in halves for each of our tired heroes. No milk or water to mix, just the good ?ol condensed soup with a few crackers
• In bed by 10:00pm
• Sleep location #2: KOA Campground. Blind River, Ontario – aka, THE MIDDLE OF NO-WHERE!

Day 3

• Awaken at around 1:00am by the sound of thunder, yet no rain…
• They realize it’s a train going by their heads about 50 feet away. It passes, and they?re quickly back to sleep
• Ian wakes at 4:00am to meet parents at KOA entrance
• After waiting almost 3 hours, the sun rises and there has been no sign of Ian?s ?rents. He decides to go back to sleep
• Shocking awakening by parents honking truck horn outside of tent
• We’re saved! They brought a Uhaul
• They had coasted into Sudbury on gas fumes and spent the night, then arrived at KOA at 7:30am (not long after Ian went back to bed)
• Brought down tent in 5 minutes due to mass amounts of mosquitoes and then lead parents to old trailer for the transfer
• Arrive at Jessie’s and begin transferring stuff to Uhaul, which is now dubbed ?Depleted Uranium?, since Kryptonite clearly had failed
• Once finished, they try to save the ?Kryptonite? trailer
• Ian?s dad drives pickup into ditch to try and make loading easier while mother looks on in horror since it is her truck
• Alas, the trailer cannot fit. Dad is furious, but manages to hide some of his anger (furious because he had purchased the trailer days before the trip)
• Kryptonite trailer is abandoned at Jessie’s, forever
• Head for gas station to part from the ?rent’s for final time
• Ian is mentally drained and upset at what he has put his parents through and also at how crappy the previous day had been
• The ?rents want Tim Hortons, but are unsure if there is one around
• Trying to pull some quick detective skills, Ian glances in the trash can where he spots a Tim’s cup on top. He concludes there must be one close by
• When his father emerges from the restroom, and Ian states his finding, his dad drowns the thought stating he had thrown out the cup only moments before
• Embarrassed, Ian thanks his parents and our heroes are off once again… a full day behind schedule
• 3:42pm, 80kms South of Marathon, Ontario
• Along the right side of the highway, there is nothing but large, black, toothpick-like trees. It is a large area that has been destroyed by fire. A good 15kms of it too
• 4:08pm, pass David Bell Mine and Williams Mine
• Lake Superior is now to their left the rest of the way to Thunder Bay
• Chris driving now, Ian takes a few snapshots of the passing scenery by hanging out the passenger window, which proves to be a challenging feat, but accomplished none-the-less

• 4:26pm, Chris gets to go over yet another bridge (as he always gets the bridges)
• 4:30pm, Blue Lumina driving very slowly and slowing them down
• As usual, Chris is still driving, and becomes furious
• One hill they encounter, the first major hill of the trip, is so big that tractor trailers are going around 40kms/hr up it, trying not to become stranded stranglers with no such luck of ever seeing the glorious hill-top
• Cavalier wins this round, thankfully
• Now behind a white Dodge Stratus from Tennessee driving slowly through hard hills. There always seems to be someone who just has to take in absolutely every passing tree, shrub and rock on his or her journey to who-knows-where
• The Stratus is slowing them down and making the hills more challenging
• Lots more hills to come… lots!
• Fog and cold air engulf the Cavalier
• The fog overwhelms everything making it impossible to see any distant landmarks
• Condensation builds on everything outside the car, and our heroes begin to find it a little chilly
• Suddenly, a sign; a bright orange one. Construction ahead. Never something they appreciate
• Construction area gives Chris and Ian a jolt when they hit a bump too fast
• The very moment they hit the bump, and after realizing it was bigger than expected, Ian glances in side mirror only to catch a brief glimpse of the new Depleted Uranium Uhaul trailer taking flight behind their trusty Cavalier
• Chris and Ian stop to check the Uhaul’s contents
• Some stuff has been shuffled, but nothing major. The worst was about six cans of tuna that escaped from their tupperware home and managed to throw themselves everywhere
• Back on the road, Chris still driving (**Footnote: Wound is sealed with dirt, slight pain)
• In Shreiber, Ontario, they pass yet another Ontario St. (probably the fourth or fifth they’ve seen so far.)
• Chris and Ian soon develop nicknames for the different hills they?ve been encountering. Titles such as ?Monster?, ?Fighter?, and ?Cheater?
• Definitions: A Monster – So big they’re unsure they’ll make it to the top. A Fighter: This is a hill that usually has a turn in it so that you don’t know how big it really is until you round the corner. Steep cliffs hugging the outside of the narrow highway shoulder are usually common as well. A Cheater: A hill that has some sort of slowing obstruction at the base of it (be it a bridge, a bump, or simply a slow moving car ahead) that slows them down and makes the Cavalier loose massive amounts of precious momentum that they desperately need to conquer each hill
• Inside joke created… ?How?s your wheel??
• Arrive at Terry Fox Memorial after Chris drives passed it (slowing with the trailer and the Cavalier is the equivalent of a locomotive coming to a halt)

• Chris drove 8 hours… well done…
• Restroom is used after Ian has the local staff reopen the information centre that closed two minutes before they arrived
• Take some photos, grab some eats, then they are back on the road for 8:45pm
• Chris attempts to sleep while Ian chuckles at what his driving conditions are like. Nothing but straight, flat road with no traffic
• Chris concludes that the driving is a conspiracy against him
• 10:32pm: first moose sighting
• Second moose sighting less than 5 minutes later with nothing but a dear or two after that
• Set up camp in Day Service for the remainder of the night
• Sleep location #3: Day use rest area, side of the highway somewhere in Northern Ontario

Day 4

• Wake and on the road by 7:00am
• Mosquitoes are horrendous
• Shortly after Kenora, Ontario, they enter Manitoba. Finally. No more Ontario.
• Chris attempts to photograph the ?Welcome? sign, but fails to capture the image because the camera wasn’t wound for the next photo. Ian’s fault!
• Nothing but flat land, fields, and lots of wind in Manitoba
• Oh and, mosquitoes. Millions of mosquitoes
• Chris and Ian concluded that Manitoba mosquitoes are quite unique because they appear to be moderately intelligent
• Example: Decide to stop at a campground for a shower and good, well-needed tooth brushing
• They drive into this campground that appears to be abandoned, but when they pull up, a woman appears from a house to their right
• Chris exits Cavalier and bargains for use of the campground facilities
• After paying her $5 each, she scurries back into the house whence she came
• Ian pulls the car around and notices a single mosquito inside the car
• ?Where’d you come from?? Ian asks, as he permanently embeds the tiny insect into the seat
• They exit the car and without a seconds notice, are instantly attacked
• After running into the facility, taking a couple of extra long showers and brushing their teeth, Ian heads back to the car first
• Within seconds of leaving the building, as if the mosquitoes had planned the ambush, he was attacked from all sides
• Getting within feet of the Cavalier, he could see that the small blue car had a blanket of insects on it, desperately searching for a way in
• Ian scampers into the car, but not before about 100 of the blood-drinking insects manage to fly into the car behind him
• He slams the door shut and began the task of killing anything that moved
• It takes nearly five minutes and a tired arm before their buzzing is finally silenced
• Soon, Chris emerges from the facility
• He gets to the car, opens the door, and merely gathers up some things before heading back to the facility
• ?Blasted!? Ian thinks to himself, before he could say anything aloud to Chris
• Five minutes and about 100 additional dead mosquitoes later, Chris comes back to car
• This time he?s running. He quickly swings open the door and jumps in, but again, the tiny insects manage to pour in around him like water flowing through a breached dam
• Both are covered in tiny bumps left behind from the mosquito?s injections
• More driving? enter Winnipeg where they stop at a Tim’s for a break
• Ian waits 5 minutes in line only to realize he can’t pay with his debit card. Duh!!
• Chris takes over driving and conspiracy commences once again as they instantly enter construction
• Exit Winnipeg. Small spurt of rain, but it quickly passes
• No hills, but car is put to the test with the strong winds
• Chris and Ian realize that the engine is getting quite hot and wonder whats wrong
• They had been watching the temperature since they first hit a hill after Blind River, as the gauge would temp fate on every hill, slowing slipping over the halfway point towards the overheating red zone
• They find out that upper radiator hose has split and have lost all coolant
• Get to Brandon, Manitoba and find Canadian Tire
• Get new radiator hose for $12 and Ian changes it. Nothing major. Easily fixed

• All is well now… back to the boring driving
• Ian resorts to gargling water while driving to stay focused since the highway merges with the horizon and there is nothing on either side but fields. Nothing to keep the driving eyes interested and at the ready
• A few hours later, Saskatchewan
• Wind is crazy strong… add more coolant
• At Saskatchewan information centre, Chris and Ian overhear locals talking about a tornado warning
• More rain, but again it quickly passes
• Chris driving… gets stuck behind transport with cars tailing him. Conspiracy theory definitely confirmed
• Long driving through Saskatchewan… same as Manitoba. Fields as far as the eye can see and nothing more. Every once in a while a large grain mill is spotted on the train tracks that run parallel with the highway, but that?s about it
• Ian sleeping as they enter Alberta
• Not much happening… they stop for some eats in Medicine Hat, Alberta. Mmm, A&W hamburgers
• Later they stop again so Chris can fight with the A&W
• Can’t find place to sleep, so they set up their tent near an information centre
• A few meters away, a sign reads, ?No Overnight Camping?? enh
• Sleep location #4: Information Centre, somewhere in Alberta

Day 5

• Awaken very early by strange noise. Sounds like water on the tent, but it?s in patterns, so it can?t be rain. Something is spraying them
• Ian wonders whether or not it’s a sprinkler system or the police trying to get them up
• They both ignore it and go back to sleep. Clearly not the police
• Early rise today… back in Ontario it is 8:00am, but here in Alberta it’s only 6:00am
• Straight on the road… no time to waste
• Enter Strathmore, Alberta
• Instantly astonished as it appears the most friendly people in Canada live here
• Chris and Ian stop into a Super 8 Motel to look for a shower
• Only way to shower is to put up money for a room
• The lady behind the counter says that if she didn’t live so far south, she would let them use the shower at her home
• She then directs Chris and Ian to the local Civic Centre
• They arrive, and while the woman behind the desk tries to figure out what to charge them, another woman who is next in line said, ?You?re actually going to charge them to use the shower? You guys could go to my house and use my shower if I were heading home?
• My word… nothing like that in Kingston, or any of Ontario for that matter
• After a shower, a clean up, and some sandwiches, they’re back on the road for the final stretch
• Put on some Rage Against The Machine for the Calgary entrance
• Arrive in Calgary at 10:30am Tuesday morning, July 13th
• After some wrong turns, they arrive at Chris’ cousin Tony and his wife Connie’s house
• End road trip… begin life in Calgary…
• Sleep location #5: Chris? cousin Tony and his wife Connie’s (bedroom for Chris, mattress on basement floor for Ian)

Starting Mileage Reading: 262,023.5 – 401/HWY 38, Kingston, ON

Finishing Mileage Reading: 265,783.2 – Everridge Rd., Calgary, AB
Total Trip Duration: 56 HRS
Total Gas Purchases: $387.31

Ian Harding