In the Beginning…

by MaxPower

1 In the beginning Jean created the Liberals.

2 Now Canada was formless and empty, Conservatives were over the surface of the deep, and the Conservatives were hovering over the waters.

3 And Jean said, “Let there be no GST,” and there was no GST. 4 Jean saw that the GST was good, and he separated the GST from his promises. 5 Jean called the GST “a tax,” and the promises he called “wrong.” And there was evening, and there was a new tax the first day.
6 And Jean said, “Let there be an expanse between Canada and the USA to separate Canada from the USA.” 7 So Jean promised to make the expanse and separate the USA under the expanse from Canada above it. However, it was not so and that was good 8 Jean called the lack of expanse “NAFTA.” And there was evening, and there was morning with something good the second day.

9 And Jean said, “Let the government in Canada be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. 10 Jean called the dry ground “Ottawa,” and the dismissed the rest he called “the West” And Jean saw that it was good.
11 Then Jean said, “Let the government produce good politicians: a code of conduct for politicians in Ottawa so that they bear fruit without corruption and patronage in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was not so. 12 The land produced politicians: government servants bearing patronage appointments and scandals according to the Liberal kind. And Jean saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning the third day.

14 And Jean said, “Let there be an agreement in the expanse of the world to separate the good from the bad, and let this agreement serve as signs to mark my environmental legacy for days and months and years, 15 and let them be an agreement in the expanse of the world to give benefit on the earth.” And it was so. 16 Jean made two great agreements-the greater agreement to govern the country’s environment and the lesser agreement to govern the way to run the country. He also made the terms of the agreement. 17 Jean set the agreement in the expanse of the country to give Kyoto to the badness, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness, without asking if light was good or night was bad. And Jean saw that it was good – how could it be otherwise? 19 And there was evening, and there was morning the fourth day – all due to the greater agreement.

20 And Jean said, “Let the government teem with individual votes, and let backbenchers vote in the government according to their constituents.” 21 So Jean created the great creatures of the government called the parliamentary whips and every living and moving thing with which the government teems, according to their kinds, was told what to do by Jean, according to his kind. And Jean saw that it was good. 22 Jean thanked them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the corners of the government, and let the Liberals increase in Ontario.” 23 And there was evening, and there was morning the fifth day – but especially in Ontario.

24 And Jean said, “Let government appointments produce good civil servants according to their kinds: diplomats, lackeys that move along the ground, and wild business partners, each according to its kind.” And it was so. 25 Jean made the wild business partners rich according to their kinds, the diplomats were made with family members, and all the lackeys that move along the ground cabinet members. And Jean saw that it was good.

26 Then Jean said, “Let us make man in my image, in my likeness, and let him rule over the Maritimers of the sea and the Liberals in the air, over the West, over all of Canada – but mainly Ontario.”

27 So Jean created man in his own image,

in the image of Jean he created him;
Paul Martin and after that John Manley he created them.

28 Jean thanked John Manley and said to him, “Be fruitful and increase your budget; fill Canada and subdue it with new spending. Rule with handouts, over the Maritimers of the sea and the Liberals of the air and over every living thing that moves on the ground.”
29 Then Jean said, “I give you every Liberal vote on the face of the whole earth and every donation that has cash with my name on it. They will be yours for spending. 30 And to all the other leaderships candidates of the Liberals and all the people in the West and all the creatures that don’t support me- I give everything that has no breath of life in it-I give you the prospects of a larger debt” And it was so.
31 Jean saw all that he had made, and he thought it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning-the sixth day.

1 Thus the Canada and the Liberal party were completed in all their vast array.

2 By the seventh day Jean had finished the legacy work he had been doing; so on the last two years he rested from all his work. 3 And Jean thanked the last two years and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating a legacy that he had done.

MaxPower