The United States of America can kiss my ass

by Crom

The United States of America can kiss my ass. Yeah, I said it. They can bite me, because now they’ve become everything we all hate. They’ve become the people who are holier then thou, but everyone can see they aren’t. All the news, all the papers, every media that can be used to convey information is chalked full of the USA’s constant blathering with regard to their need to eradicate the people who hate them. Obviously these godless terrorist countries need to be vaporized off the planet in order for everyone around the globe to sleep tight. Bullshit. Gore’s on Larry king going on about a group of people threatening to kill you as the number one priority for the US. Every high profile political animal in the states is currently jumping on the bandwagon. You know, as far as I can recall they’ve been threatening you for 25 years…

They didn’t start last week They weren’t quietly saying it in some coffee shop on the corner of achkbar street and mujiber avenue in Baghdad, whispering into their cloaks like children. No no, they were screaming “Fuck USA” for the past 20 years. But now, now that there’s a shred of moral grounds for the US to dust off the war machine and jump back to the good old’ cold war fever, Iraq is suddenly hating us. Because we weren’t happy when the cold war ended you know: when the Red Threat stopped pointing thousands of ballistic missiles at our nuts and making most people’s blood pressure sky rocket. Nope, time to dig another hole in the backyard and build a 12 foot by 20 foot lead box with shelves for food, and a septic system. Everybody’s gotta haul out the radiation suits and shit the bed. And why? Because the American people elected a fucking cowboy to office. They put their fate into the hands of a man I wouldn’t trust with an elastic gun. A man who had the temerity to state he didn’t discount the possibility of using nuclear weapons against countries that have weapons of mass destruction….What? So it’s ok that the states has Nukes…but no one else can. Or at least no one who isn’t a shadowy puppet of the Oval office. Well, that’s just dandy. I can see the Orwellian nightmare sliding home now.

We can bomb the fuck outa a few Middle Eastern countries and then sit back and sip our brandy and smoke the cigars and everyone can go back to watching leave it to beaver and be OKAY! Well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble my good man, but that’s not really what’s going to happen. Like so many of history’s great empires this marks its decay into ruin. So let’s play out this scenario, A La Matthew Broderick War Games. The US bombes the shit out of the Middle East, laying waste like a drunken sailor in a port town. Killing all these nogoodnicks (and several million people who’s only real concern is that they’re hungry and dying of thirst, but wow look at their tans!) and rooting out the evil anti-us devils in one fantastic burst. And, on the surface, it will seem like a successful campaign on their part. Only the faith of every other nation will be completely eroded. No longer an ally with the States because they believe in freedom and peace and the pursuit of Happine$$; because they fear the same cold end. What then?

What do you do then? Where do you turn when the massive power that looms like the proverbial big brother over you is obviously capable of dealing out punishment that you deem unfit? How long does it take for the discord to work itself to the whole tree, root and branch? It doesn’t really make a difference, sooner or later it will. It will infect the world, casting doubt on everything that is done with or in the name of the United States. Then who is the devil to bomb? When does the US decide that any but their own values and beliefs are the sole allowable ones? They stand, here and now, telling us that the people who hate them must pay for the crime of hating them, but we have freedom of thought. They protest and burn flags they must be evil, but we have freedom of speech. I could choke it all down if it weren’t being played up as some fantastic good vs. evil epic. If the spin wasn’t quite so black and white. So rather then spend the next 3 months conjuring false reports and statements of massive caches of destructive weaponry, we should just blow up the US and be done with it. The bible should have had “Don’t destroy thy neighbors land, destroy your own if you wish.” Of course, that’s only one of many changes, and a whole other headache. There’s not enough time to expand on this fully, but all I can say is that any MORON can see there’s no real pressing need to invade the middle east: so what does that say about Bush?

  • The United States of America can kiss my ass
  • by Crom
  • Published on January 1st, 2003

More from :

Other recent features: