Get Packing

by Beauty

Coming home from the grocery store the other day, I couldn’t help dreading what I would find when I got home and lifted my purchases out of the car. It never fails that a bored cashier will somehow manage to mess up my groceries. Now I don’t claim to have any expertise or training when it comes to packing groceries, but I do have a lot of experience carrying ripped, overstuffed grocery bags up the elevator. Once I even lugged 10 loaded bags up 27 flights of stairs – in high heels. For those who sympathize with my plight, and here’s hoping grocery store cashiers that frequent this site, I offer the following Golden Rules for Packing Groceries (all gleaned from real-life experience):

1. Don’t pack the bloody meats with the fruit. Mmm salmonella.
2. Don’t pack two 2-litre bottles of pop in those thin mini bags and then tie the handles in a knot. I need to carry it, but not in a football hold.
3. Don’t put anything with two 2-litre pop bottles – that is plenty for one bag thanks.
4. Don’t put ANYTHING on top of a loaf of bread, particularly not Chunky Soups or egg cartons.
5. Do feel free to double bag the milk carton, juice carton, and soup cans you jammed into one bag. Don’t ask, just do it.
6. Do add more items to the bag that currently contains just a single serving of instant noodles and a packet of stir-fry seasoning.
7. Don’t pack the soap with the baked goods – the chemical taste can and will spread.
8. Don’t double bag the pickle jar to disguise the fact that it’s leaking.
9. Don’t use the bag that already has the hole/rip/defect in it.
10. Don’t use that nasty dirty bag that got crushed in the back of the supply cubby.
11. Don’t pack the hot chicken with the frozen French fries.
12. Do try and respect my putting all of the frozen items on the conveyor belt together by putting all the frozen items in one bag.
13. Don’t make me pay for plastic bags.
14. Don’t chat with the customers – we’re there to get our groceries and go home. Now this seems harsh, but honestly I have no sympathy for some chatty Cathy who wants to talk about the weather with every customer. I appreciate your friendly and you like to talk but please just pack my bags.
15. And finally golden rule 15, do not under any circumstances throw items into the bag from a standing position.

In Europe and certain cheap grocery stores here in North America you have to pack your own groceries. I don’t know if my whole list of complaints here makes it worth my while to pack my own groceries – although I do know that I would satisfy myself with my own awesome packing abilities. In fact, in Europe the cashiers sit on little chairs while they scan your stuff in and then let you pack your own groceries! There I was, in Europe, packing my bags like a sucker. Maybe the poor cashiers here in North America who are standing and are packing my groceries are just teaching me a lesson. But I don’t know what that is. Follow the rules!

Beauty